Skills Mothers Have (that Fathers don't!)

Crying Vomiting Baby Cartoon by Chris Desatoff from I Work Off The Clock!!

Employers tend to shy away from hiring mothers of young children. The assumption is that mothers have too many responsibilities at home and cannot possibly be as focused and productive at work as their single/male counterparts. Of course, long hours are out of the question and frequent absenteeism is expected. 

Alas, such a short-sighted point of view. What employers seem to forget is that mothers are trained in a number of highly desirable soft-skills that their single/male counterparts may lack. 

Multi-tasking

Picture this, a busy mother preparing a meal in the kitchen for her fussy brood. Hot water is boiling on the stove, she is wielding a sharp knife and slicing chicken and chopping vegetables. In the meantime, son #1 (10 years) is at the kitchen table doing homework and mother is fielding 4th grade math questions. Daughter #2 (8 years) and son #3 (5 years) burst in arguing and require dispute resolution. The phone rings, father is at the store and needs the shopping list sent via instant message. Mother does a quick inventory and texts the list. Half an hour later, lunch is cooked, homework is done, dispute settled, groceries on the way. Mothers can handle emails, phone calls, and other work tasks simultaneously with her eyes closed.

Negotiation

Scenario: family is at a restaurant, dinner is served. Child #3 (5 years) wants ice cream and refuses to finish his half-eaten meal. Mother is not having it, neither is child. Child starts screaming and rolling on the ground (restaurant floors, yikes!). Mother calmly picks child up and begins negotiation. Mother tells child that he must finish his dinner and that of his sisters in order to get ice cream. Child balks and says that he cannot eat that much. Mother suggests he finishes his own food and he will get juice in return. Child feels he has won and settles down to finish his dinner. 

Ever tried to reason with a 5-year old, throwing a tantrum, in public? Reason will get you nowhere, but smart negotiation skills will win the day. Negotiating with a 50 year-old, highly rational, male executive across the table is too easy. 

Laser-sharp focus

Mothers are constantly being interrupted. Constantly. Children crave attention and as soon as mother sits to work on something, they come running with questions, to show off something, with an injury or a mess to clean up, etc. Mother has to focus, go off and do something else, return and re-focus, go off and do something else, return and re-focus again and it goes on. This isn't too different at work when work tasks are constantly being derailed because of some distraction, co-worker chit-chat, boss' demand for information, phone call, meeting, lunch break, internet down, fire alarm etc. Mother is able to quickly return to what she was doing without missing a beat. 

Planning

Outings, roadtrips, airline travel with young children all require careful logistical planning and problem anticipation. From finding the best deals (big families are expensive) to booking airline tickets (window seat for the 3 year old) to planning meals  (allergy prevention) and entertainment (PG13 and educational programming only) and organizing family reunions (make sure kids have other kids to play with); the list goes on. Inadequate or lousy planning will mean ruined trips, grumpy kids and adults and mother having to hear about it for the rest of her life. By comparison, planning the next marketing event at work is a piece of cake.

Endurance

Childbirth is a test of endurance and it's only just the beginning. Being the first to wake and the last to sleep pretty much everyday until the children are grown requires endurance. Tending to children while sick requires endurance. Getting the kids ready for school, speeding off to work, giving 110%, getting home and preparing meals, supervising homework, getting kids to bed, catching up on social and marital life and then starting the whole routine again the next day requires endurance. What are 20 hour work days? That's just everyday for mother. 

So employers, think again. And mothers, try your hands at entrepreneurship, you are already trained entrepreneurs.

What do you think? I dare you to disagree!